When Frustration and Anger Gets The Better of You

It’s been an interesting few days.

After a four-month term on a local board of directors, I had to resign based on a recommendation from the organization’s legal counsel. It was clear, I was not in compliance with one of the subsections of the state statute that governs this particular type of board.

It’s never fun when you read a state statute, understand/interpret it one way and then, upon further review, you realize that you may have been looking at it through the wrong lens.

Those things happen and I have no reason to gripe. Resigning was the right thing to do.

Period.

That being said, I was — and remain — a little frustrated and disappointed that my time was cut short.

When Frustration Takes Over

People who know me will be the first to tell you I am always willing to offer an opinion. There is no grey in my life – things are either black or white. I’m trying hard to live a life that is sprinkled with color, but in all honesty, when I am tired and frustrated, I revert back to what I know and find it hard to see the rainbow of colors around me.

I was again reminded of my failings as I dealt with the fallout from having to resign. I was frustrated and, in a follow-up conversation with an individual, I hung on – with passion and conviction – to my “black and white” view of the situation and reacted poorly to assumptions I perceived were made about me and my intentions after I left the meeting.

Obviously, it was not one of my finer moments.

My wife, and others, are constantly reminding me that God presents me with situations like this (and will continue to do so) until I learn from them. I must be a slow learner!

The lessons from this week are clear and remain the same as they’ve always been for me:

• Take a Deep Breath: The act of taking a deep breath can be very powerful. In a way it clears the mind and allows you a moment to pause. In most cases, hitting the “pause” button is always better! When I take the time to breathe and pause, “color” has an opportunity to replace the “black and white.”
• Allow for Daylight: Morning light always brings a new perspective. When I choose to react to a situation or a comment, I always lose. In hockey, we tell players to limit the time and space their opponent has.  I must remember that in life, time and space is one way to avoid frustration and regret. Seneca was on to something when he said: “The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” 

As I reflect on the events of this week and the way that I chose to respond, I was reminded of my conversation with Elizabeth Traub - and the advice she shared:

“Always listen to the intentions of someone’s heart and rather than their actions.”
~ Elizabeth Traub

I may have failed to pay attention to the intentions of this individuals heart. Lesson learned … I hope and pray.

Thanks for listening!

Be well and make it a great week!

Marc Vaillancourt
@bassclefmusic

Image Source: http://cammpus.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/frustrated-man.jpg